YuGiOh: The Musical!
by Ixax15
Summary: a musical based on season zero, and the duelist Kingdom arcs of "Yu-Gi-Oh"


Yu-Gi-Oh

The Musical

Narrator: THERE ONCE WAS A MAN NAMED GOLD ROGER- Oh Shit, that's the wrong show... IN ANCIENT EGYPT LIVED AN EVIL PHARAOH OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. ANY WAY, HE SEALED HIMSELF WITHIN HIS MILLENIUM PUZZLE NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN. OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW. AND THEN THERE'S THIS FUCKIN' KID.

Yuugi: _When you're alone, alone in the world_

_When you're alone in the world_

_Blown-away leaves get blown in the world_

_Swirled-away leaves get swirled_

_And hand in each hand was made for the world_

_Where is the hand to reach for mine back_

_Where are the shoes that click to my clack_

_I'm all alone in the world_

_Millions of grains of sand in the world_

_Why such a lonely beach?_

_A hand for each hand was planned for the world Why don't my fingers reach? Millions of grains of sand in the world Why's mine a lonely beach?_

_Where are the heels to click to my clack? Where is the voice to answer mine back? I'm all alone in the WOOOOORLD!_

Jounouchi: Hey nerd, what's that?

Yuugi: This is my super awesome Millenium puzzle. I got it in a super McHappy meal from Burger Wold. Rumor has it whoever solves this puzzle will be posessed by a satanic Egyptian pharaoh, and all of his enemies will know the torment of a thousand years suffering as the ancient beast Serket feasts upon them for eons. and what a sight it will be to behold when I Yuugi Mutou-

Jounouchi: Yoink (he grabs a small piece if the puzzle and throws it out the window) See you later nerd. (he leaves)

Yuugi: Your death shall be the most painful of all.

Honda: Aw, don't feel so bad, little buddy.

Yuugi: I like you honda. That's why i'm going to kill you last.

Honda: Aww...So cute.

(Honda leaves)

Anzu: don't worry Yuugi, I like you.

(HALLWAY)

Ushio: Hey, you two stop.

Jounouchi: Whatta you want, Hall moniter?

Ushio: I saw youse two pickin' on that Yuugi kid.

Jounouchi: So?

Ushio: So this!

(Ushio beats the shit out of jounouchi.)

(Yuugi enters)

Yuugi: holy Shit! Jounouchi!

Jounouchi: Yuugi, if you save me, I'll be your slave for life!

Yuugi: For reals, yo?

Jounouchi: (as he passes out) for...reals...

Ushio: I'll kill them if you give me twenty bucks!

Yuugi: no! You're not gonna kill my slave!

Ushio: I tell you what, you give me twenty bucks, and i won't kill YOU.

Yuugi: But I don't have twenty bucks!

Ushio: You have till midnight.

Yuugi: What, But I-

Ushio: meet me back here. TONIGHT.

Honda: you saved us!

Yuugi: But now I'm gonna die.

(Yuugi is at home trying to solve the puzzle. Jounouchi enters)

Jounouchi: Hey Yuugi, I thought I'd give this back to you.

Yuugi: sit boy.

(Jounouchi does)

Yuugi: Now, as my slave what should you call me?

Jounouchi: Master?

Yuugi: that's right. now, give me the puzzle piece, and twenty dollars to pay off Ushio. (Jounouchi gives him both things) Thank you.

(Outside the school)

Yuugi: Damn. Ushio's late. might as well work on this puzzle while I wait. (As Ushio enters, the first of "I'm free" begins to play, and yuugi slides the last piece of the puzzle into place.)

Narrator: What's this! Yuugi is evolving! Yuugi evolved into Yami no Yuugi!

YY: _I'M FREE- I'm free,_

_And freedom tastes of reality,_

_I'm free-I'm free,_

_AN' I'm waiting for you to follow me._

(He produces the bills, and a knife)

Ushio: What are these for?

YY: _If I told you what it takes_

_to reach the highest high,_

_You'd laugh and say 'nothing's that simple'_

_(he demonstrates the stabbing game)_

_But you've been told many times before_

_Messiahs pointed to the door_

_And no one had the guts to leave the temple!_

(Ushio accidently stabs himself in the hand)

Ushio: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

YY: _I'm free-I'm free_

_And freedom tastes of reality_

_I'm free-I'm free_

_And I'm waiting for you to follow me._

(YY Twists the knife in Ushio's hand, and then Kills him)

(The next day - yuugi awakes in his bedroom)

Yuugi: _I was not myself last night_

_Couldn't set things right_

_With apologies or flowers_

_Out of place as a cryin' clown_

_Who could only frown_

_And the play went on for hours_

_And as I lived my role_

_I swore I'd sell my soul_

_For one love who would stand by me_

_And give me back the gift of laughter_

_One love who would stand by me_

_And after making love we'd..._

_Dream a bit of style_

_We'd dream a bunch of friends_

_Dream each others smile_

_And dream it never ends_

_I was not myself last night_

_In the morning light_

_I could see the change was showing_

_Like a child who was always poor_

_Reaching out for more_

_I could feel the hunger growing_

_And as I lost control_

_I swore I'd sell my soul_

_For one love who would sing my song_

_And fill this emptiness inside me_

_One love who would sing my song_

_And lay beside me while we'd..._

(a breif flash of YY)

_Dream a bit of style_

_We'd dream a bunch of friends_

_Dream each others smile_

_And dream it never ends_

_All my dreams are lost and I can't sleep_

_And sleep alone could ease my mind_

_All my tears have dried and I can't weep_

_Old emotions_

_May they rest in peace and dream_

_Dream a bunch of friends - rest in peace_

_And dream, dream it never ends _

(he flicks on the tv)

TV: at a local highschool a bully named Ushio was murdered last night in what could only be called a game of shadows. he stabbed himself-(Yuugi turns off the TV)

Yuugi: What did I do last night?

Grandpa: You Killed a man!

Yuugi: What?

Grandpa: Just kidding.

Yuugi: oh thank god.

Grandpa: Not really. haha. have fun at school, murderer!

(AT SCHOOL)

Teacher: please welcome our new student, CEO of the Kaiba Corperation, SETO KAIBA!

(Kaiba enters.)

Kaiba: Greetings, dimwits. do any of you have any rare cards I can steal, I mean see.

Yuugi: My grandpa's got a Blue eyes white dragon card...

Kaiba: Well that just gave me a blue eyes white Hard-on. now to your grandpa's house!

Teacher: What about class?

Kaiba: I'll give you 50 bucks.

Teacher: class dismissed.

(Yuugi's grandpa's)

Kaiba: Sweet card. oops dropped it. here it is, back.

Grandpa: you just switched that out with a fake.

Kaiba: no I didn't.

Yuugi: this is drawn by hand...

Kaiba: No it's not.

Yuugi: uh, yeah it is.

Kaiba: I'll duel you for it!

Yuugi: but it's already yours, you just stole it.

Kaiba: That's mine though, I gave you yours back.

Yuugi: no you didn't.

Kaiba: alright, this is gonna be a duel then, huh?

Yuugi: what?

Grandpa: let him keep the card, yuugi, I'll buy another one. Blue eyes are really common since they were included in every Yu-gi-oh, I mean Duel Monsters starter deck.

Kaiba: shut up old man!

(Yuugi morphs into YY)

YY: You hurt my grampa!

Kaiba: So?

YY: It's time to D-D-D-D-Duel!

(The two duel as they sing)

Kaiba: _You're a loser_

_An abomination in the eyes of any sensitive man_

YY: _And you're a blind alley cruiser_

_Always heading down a losing straight_

_Dreaming that you're screaming at fate_

_You're a dead end, dead beat, nowhere Mister_

_With a kisser like a Mississippi alligator's sister_

Kaiba:_ I took as much of you as any man can!_

_You've lost your heart_

YY: _You've lost your cause_

Kaiba: _You lost your baby_

_When you lost your balls_

_You lost your mind_

_You've lost your grip_

_So say bye-bye!_

YY:_ You lost your Mom_

_you lost your Dad_

_And if I'm losing you_

_Well that's too bad_

Kaiba: _Well the best thing you could ever do is die_

YY: _You're a failure_

_A malformation in the guise of many_

_An also ran!_

Kaiba: _And you're a weeper and a wailer!_

_Always treading on the toes of the great_

_generally spreading your weight_

_You're a spiteful, hateful, assinine creature_

_A pupil with no scruples who's no better than the teacher_

YY: _I took as much of you as any man can!_

_You've lost your heart_

_You've lost your cause_

Kaiba: _You lost your baby_

_When you lost your balls_

_You lost your mind_

_When you lost your grip_

_So say bye-bye!_

YY: _you lost your cards, _

_your family_

_You've lost compassion_

_Now you're losing me_

Kaiba: _Well the best thing you could ever do is die_

YY: _Well the best thing you could ever do is die_

Kaiba:_ Well the best thing you could ever do is die! _

(YY has won the duel)

Kaiba: WHAT HAPPEN? HOW COULD I LOSE!

I AM A WORTHLESS DOG! yes I lost but I can not lose It is a Paradox that is making me talk like racer x who is in reality speed's brother I am he is you are he is me and we are all together, huh?

YY: Kaiba. Your punishment is that you can not kill yourself.

Kaiba: !

YY: Guess What else, Kaiba.

Kaiba: What?

YY: It's RAPE O'CLOCK! (YY begins to unbuckle his belt, Kaiba screams as there is a blackout)

(The next day, Gramps is bringing in the mail, as jounouchi shines Yuugi's shoes)

Jounouchi: Are these clean enough, boss?

Yuugi: More Polish!

Grampa: Yuugi, you got a package from Industrial Illusions!

Yuugi: You mean the company that makes the yu-gi-I mean Duel Monsters cards?

Grampa: The very same, my boy!

Jounouchi: massa, massa, open it! I wants to see!

(Yuugi opens the package to reveal a vhs tape)

Yuugi: A vhs tape? it's friggin' 2011, who uses vhs tapes anymore?

Grampa: I do-

Yuugi: shut it old man, do I need to get out the belt again?

Grampa: No! anything but that!

Jounouchi: oh, massa, please play that tape.

(Yuugi puts the tape in a vcr. Pegasus pops up on screen)

Pegasus: Greetings Yuugi-boy.

Yuugi: Who's this fruit?

Pegasus: Wha- Fruit? I'll have you know That I am Pegasus J. Crawford! I invented Duel Monsters!

Yuugi: yeah, what do you want?

Pegasus: Well, Yuugi Boy, I'm putting together a card game tournament-

Yuugi: psh. Like I wanna be part of that.

Pegasus: Why you little Bastard! I'm giving you a golden oppertunity, and you-

Yuugi: Gramps, what else is on?

Pegasus: ENOUGH! Yuugi. I will take something very near and dear to you.

(Gramps disappears)

Yuugi: Grampa!

Pegasus: he is mine now.

Yuugi: You- wait a minute if this is a tape how am I talking to you?

Pegasus: You see this? (he moves his hair to reveal the millenium eye) It lets me see the future. I recorded this tape knowing exactly what you would do, and say. now, I'll issue you a challenge. If you duel this tape, and Win, I'll set your gramps free. If you lose, You have to participate in "Duelist Kingdom" now, enter the tape! (The world around Yuugi changes, he and Jounouchi are transported to a darm room, where they sit at a table with Pegasus.)

Yuugi: I'm gonna kick your ass, Bro!

Pegasus: Don't you disrespect me little man!

Don't you derogate or deride!

_You're in my world now_

_Not your world_

_And I got friends on the other side!_

Chorus: He's got friends on the other side...

Pegasus: That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in The Shadow Realm.

_Sit down at my table_

_Put your minds at ease_

_If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please_

_I can read your future_

_I can change it 'round some, too_

_I'll look deep into your heart and soul_

_Make your wildest dreams come true!_

_I got voodoo_

_I got hoodoo_

_I got things I ain't even tried!_

_And I got friends on the other side._

Chorus: _He's got friends on the other side!_

Pegasus:_ The cards, the cards, the cards will tell_

_The past, the present, and the future as well_

_The cards, the cards, just take three_

_Take a little trip into your future with me!_

(He turns to Jounouchi)

_Now you, young man, Are not like me_

_You come from two long lines of Poverty_

_You like to get high_

_But your funds are low_

_You need to marry a little honey whose daddy got dough_

_But freedom... takes green!_

_It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need_

_And when I looked into your future_

_a green jacket I see!_

(To Yuugi)

_On you little man, I don't want to waste much time_

_You been pushed around all your life_

_You been pushed around by your Grampa, and your Friends and your mother._

_And if you was married..._

_You'd be pushed around by your wife_

_But in your future, the you I see_

(A brief image of YY)

_Is exactly the man you always wanted to be!_

And now, I believe I have won the duel.

Yuugi: What?

Pegasus: You see I distracted you with my song.

Yuugi: Well, I can sing a song, to you know!

Pegasus: Very well, If you sing a song, and reduce my life points to zero by the time you finish singing I'll let your grandpa go.

Yuugi: alright. alright. Let's see what songs do I-

Pegasus: Just kidding your gramps is mine.

(They return to reality)

Jounouchi: He gave me a green jacket, massa! Can I puts it on?

Yuugi: yes. Oh, How could this day get any worse?

(The door opens, kaiba enters)

Kaiba: hahahha. hey guys, are you ready for... DEATH-T?

Yuugi:

Kaiba: hahaha, to bad. I've kidnapped Anzu, Yuugi, and if you want her back, you have to beat all five floors of Death-T!

Yuugi: who?

Kaiba: What?

Yuugi: who did you kidnap?

Kaiba: Anzu...Anzu Mizaki...

Yuugi: You mean that chick from the opening scene?

Kaiba: uh...yeah.

Yuugi: Yeah I don't know her that well dude.

Kaiba: cool story Bro. But, anyway, you're coming with me, and your little slave, too!

Jounouchi: But I don't know nothin' bout no death-T's!

Kaiba: TOO BAD.

(Death-T)

yuugi: Oh God, how are we gonna win this Jounouchi?

Jounouchi: I don't know!

Honda: hey, guys what's up?

Yuugi: Honda, you're with us.

Honda: What?

Yuugi: The team's up to three!

Honda: What are you talking about?

Jounouchi: Kaiba kidnapped anzu, yuugi's gonna save her, I'm Yuugi's slave, and you just got drafted.

Honda: Oh. Okay then.

Kaiba: Greetings! Welcome to Death-T. Every floor is designed to test you and kill you. Any questions?

Yuugi: Why?

Kaiba: What?

Yuugi: why are you doing this to us? because I beat you at a card game?

Kaiba: No. Because You raped me after you beat me in a card game.

Yuugi: Oh. Okay, then.

Kaiba: Now, if there are no more questions... _Let's get down to business_

_To defeat the Puns_

_Did they send me daughters_

_When I asked for sons?_

_You're the saddest bunch_

_I ever met_

_But you can bet_

_Before we're through_

_Mister, I'll make a man_

_out of you_

(To Yuugi)

_Tranquil as a forest_

_But on fire within_

_Once you find your center_

_you are sure to win_

_You're a spineless, pale_

_pathetic lot_

_And you haven't got a clue_

_Somehow I'll make a man_

_out of you_

(Montage of the Death-T Challenges)

Honda:_ I'm never gonna catch my breath_

Jounouchi: _Say good-bye to those who knew me_

Yuugi: _Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting Jim_

(an Image of YY stabbing Ushio)

Anzu: _This guy's got me scared to death!_

Yuugi:_ Hope he doesn't see_

_right through me_

Honda: _Now I really wish that I_

_knew how to swim_

(Be a man)

Kaiba: _You must be swift as_

_the coursing river_

(Be a man)

_With all the force_

_of a great typhoon_

(Be a man)

_With all the strength_

_of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the_

_dark side of the moon_

Yuugi: _Time is racing toward us_

_till We arrive_

_Heed my every order_

_and you might survive_

Kaiba: _You're unsuited for_

_the rage of war_

_So pack up, go home_

_you're through_

_How could I make a man_

_out of you?_

(Be a man)

_you must be swift as_

_the coursing river_

(Be a man)

_With all the force_

_of a great typhoon_

(Be a man)

_With all the strength_

_of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the_

_dark side of the moon_

(Be a man)

Yuugi, Honda, jounouchi: _We must be swift as_

_the Coursing river_

(Be a man)

_With all the force_

_of a great typhoon_

(Be a man)

_With all the strength_

_of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the_

_dark side of the moon!_

(they have reached the fourth floor. Mokuba awaits with his Capmon challenge)

Yuugi: I'm going in there.

Jounouchi: Good luck, massa!

Mokuba: Hi!

Yuugi: Uh, hi.

Mokuba: I have two fingers!

Yuugi: uh...yeah you do.

Mokuba: you have four eyes!

Yuugi: No I don't

Mokuba: Is this real life?

Yuugi: Okay, who the fuck is this kid?

Kaiba: That's my brother Mokuba.

Mokuba: Okay now...Okay now... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Yuugi: Let me guess, I have to beat him at capsule monsters chess?

Kaiba: No. You have to defeat him in Mortal Kombat!

Yuugi: Oh cool, I'm great at that game.

Kaiba: No. I mean, you each get a weapon and you have to duel to the death.

Yuugi: That's fucked up!

(Mokuba produces a knife)

Mokuba: Come and get it!

(Yuugi fights with mokuba. and wins.)

Yuugi: Okay, I killed your brother.

Kaiba: Stupid, stupid, stupid! Okay, Mutou come on in, for the last challenge. a duel with me.

Yuugi: Kaiba, I already beat you in a duel that one time.

Kaiba: oh, yeah...

Yuugi: I'll just beat you again.

Kaiba: I guess you don't have to do the last challenge, then, huh.

Yuugi: Now where's anzu?

Anzu: I'm here yuugi.

Yuugi: Now then. Let's all go home.

Kaiba: NO! I won't let you leave, You Fucking Raped me! and killed my brother!

Yuugi: actually I didn't.

Mokuba: Hi Bro!

Kaiba: Oh God-Dammit, I was actually hoping you had killed him, he's friggin' annoying. Guess I'll just have to kill you both!

(Kaiba draws a gun, and aims it at Yuugi. Yuugi morphs into YY)]

_YY: _Kaiba. Think about what you're doing! Remember your childhood!

_When you were young_

_And your heart was an open book_

_You used to say, "Live and let live"_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we live in_

_Makes you give in and cry_

_Say live and let die_

_Live and let die_

_Live and let die_

_Live and let die_

Kaiba: (Brandishing his gun)

_What does it matter to ya?_

_when you've got a job to do,_

_you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fellow Hell!_

YY: _You used to say, "Live and let live'"_

(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)

_But if this ever-changing world in which we live in_

_Makes you give in and cry_

_Say, live and let die_

_Both: Live and let die_

_Live and let die_

_Live and let die_

Kaiba: You have a point there, Mutou. I used to be quite peaceful. But...I think I'm still gonna kill you. Live and let die, after all! (Aims the pistol at Yuugi's head)

YY: I didn't wanna do this but...Mind Rape!

(Kaiba collapses)

YY: haha. It's funny because he's paralyzed for life.

(Anzu Honda and Jonouchi all burst out laughing.)

Yuugi: Hey Honda.

Honda: Yeah?

YY: Remember when i said I'd kill you last?

Honda: Yeah?

YY: I lied. MIND RAPE! (Honda collapses)

End of ACT ONE

INTERMISSION

ACT TWO

(Yuugi sits alone)

Yuugi: ever since that day...That day I solved the puzzle. I've been blacking out. and now Gramps is gone... What's going on?

_When you're alone, alone in the world_

_When you're alone in the world_

_Blown-away leaves get blown in the world_

_Swirled-away leaves get swirled_

_Where are two shoes that click to my clack?_

_Where is a voice to answer mine back?_

_I'm all alone...In the world._

YY: Hey.

Yuugi: What the fu- who are you?

YY: I'm you. And not.

Yuugi: Are you the one that beat Kaiba? and Killed Ushio?

YY: Yeah.

Yuugi: That's fuckin' bad ass.

YY: You know it is.

Yuugi: Dude, we should totally hang out!

_My heart's Pounding with the glory now before me!_

YY: Gee, Doc, I'm beginning to see, Doc!

Yuugi: _My soul quivers, with the glory now in view_

YY: Hell Doc, _It's beginning to Jell!_

We'll cut this town up like a great big cake!

Shake, Doc, let's me and you!

_You've got what I need, baby,_

_You've got it and how._

_You've got what I need, baby._

_Together we can scale the heights_

_And I mean right now._

_You've got what it takes, sweetie,_

_All the way from A to Z._

_You've got what I need, baby,_

_and from now on, baby, you've got me._

(Spoken) From now on Aibou, it's gonna be you and me!

Yuugi: call me Yuugi.

YY: Aw, do I hafta? to tell you the truth kid, you're just a teensy weensy bit weird. But you're cute, you're cute!

_You're loaded with class, baby,_

Yuugi:_ La creme de la creme._

YY: _Let's step on the gas, baby._

_Oh, Yuugi, you're a million laughs_.

Yuugi: _and Me, you're a gem._

YY: _You've got it in spades, lovey,_

_You're a pal, no ballyhoo._

_I've got what I need, baby,_

Both: _'Cause from now on, baby, I've got you._

YY: _You've got it upstairs, baby,_

_The best in the house._

Yuugi:_ You're tops in my book, cookie_

YY: _Hit It Yuugi, _(they high-five)

_Ah, you're Mickey mouse!_

Both:_ Here comes the new team, Mister._

_We'll be great, just wait and see._

_You've got what I need, baby,_

_'Cause from now on, baby,_

_Don't mean maybe_

_From Now on, baby_

_you've got me!_

Yuugi: and together We'll take Duelist Kingdom!

(the two high five)

(Jounouchi rushes in)

Jounouchi: Oh Massa, massa! you better hurry, da' boat fo' duelist kingdom leaves any minute.

Yuugi: very well, let's go.

Jounouchi: Me? But I don't know nuthin' 'bout no duel monsters.

Yuugi: too bad. now get Anzu, and lets GTFO!

(Yuugi Jounouchi honda and anzu are all on their way to the boat leaving for duelist kingdom)

Yuugi: We're almost there.

Anzu: Why'd you guys invite me?

Yuugi: 'cause we need a chick or else the network will say we're sexist.

Anzu: Oh, Okay then.

Yuugi: Now where was the boat supposed to be at?

Jounouchi: 612 Wharf Avenue, right next to The Gentleman's club.

Honda: You guys, why am I going?

Yuugi: Actually, we didn't invite you, you just kinda showed up at my house.

Honda: (Sad) Oh. Okay, Then. They never care about me. Nobody does.

_If someone stood up in a crowd_

_And raised his voice up way out loud_

_And waved his arm and shook his leg_

_You'd notice him_

_If someone in the movie show_

_Yelled "Fire in the second row_

_This whole place is a powder keg!"_

_You'd notice him_

_And even without clucking like a hen_

_Everyone gets noticed, now and then,_

_Unless, of course, that personage should be_

_Invisible, inconsequential me!_

_Cellophane_

_Mister Cellophane_

_Shoulda been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there..._

_I tell ya_

_Cellophane_

_Mister Cellophane_

_Shoulda been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there..._

_Suppose you was a little cat_

_Residin' in a person's flat_

_Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?_

_You'd notice him_

_Suppose you was a woman, wed_

_And sleepin' in a double bed_

_Beside one man, for seven years_

_You'd notice him_

_A human being's made of more than air_

_With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there_

_Unless that human bein' next to you_

_Is unimpressive, undistinguished_

_You know who..._

_Cellophane_

_Mister Cellophane_

_Shoulda been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there..._

_I tell ya_

_Cellophane_

_Mister Cellophane_

_Shoulda been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there_

_Never even know I'm there._

Yuugi: Yo, Honda, Shut the fuck up! we're trying to have a conversation over here! Jeez!

Anzu: Yuugi, There's something I need to tell you. Right Now.

Yuugi: Anzu, I already know you have a crush on me.

Anzu: What? no, I was just gonna say I'm on my period, and I wanted to know if one of you guys could go and get me some Tampons.

Honda: Whoa, TMI

Jounouchi: Massa, what's a Pur-ee-od?

Yuugi: Jounouchi, Shut the fuck up. Anyway, we're here.

(shot of the boat)

Jounouchi: Massa this gon' be fun!

Yuugi: uh...sure...

(they board the boat)

Mai: Hey you're cute.

Jounouchi: Me?

Mai: did I stutter?

Jounouchi: n-no

Mai: Come back to my room and I'll show you the real main event of the tournament (she winks)

Jounouchi: Oh massa, can I?

Yuugi: sure.

Jounouchi: Oh, I have the kin'est Massa in da whole south!

Honda: he does know that he's being fucking racist as hell, doesn't he?

Yuugi: Honestly I don't think he does.

Anzu: there goes a stupid, stupid, kid. (She waits a beat) Hey, who's that over there?

Yuugi: That's Keith Howard! He's an american duelist who made a killing selling books about his experiences in the vietnam war. they say he's got a few screws loose. Post traumatic stress disorder you know?

(Keith collapses crying)

Yuugi: Yeah...That's...not funny.

Anzu: that poor poor man.

Yuugi: Yeah, imagine if someone on a web series started mocking the fuck out of this guy?

Anzu: That'd be awful.

Keith: Sarge? Sarge?

Yuugi: he's kinda freakin' me out.

Anzu: Let's...not stay here.

(They wander into another part of the boat.)

Ryu: Yoyo! What up, homos?

Yuugi: oh look, It's dinosaur Ryuzaki.

Honda: Wow, we're not skimping out, we've already got almost all of the characters from the real Duelist kingdom arc!

Yuugi: haha. Oh, Tristan.

Honda: My name's honda.

Yuugi: hahaha you're such a card.

Haga: Sup dudes. I'm here too. well, there's my cameo. Bye! (Ryuzaki and haga exit)

(The door to Mai's room is flung open, and Jounouchi emerges dressed in boxers and an undershirt)

Jounouchi: _Sometimes_

_Something beautiful happens_

_in this world_

_You don't know how to express yourself so_

_You just gotta sing_

_I just had sex_

_And it felt so good (felt so good)_

_A woman let me put my penis inside her (her)_

_I just had sex _

_And I'll never go back (never go back)_

_To the not-having-sex_

_Ways of the past_

_(To Yuugi)_

_Have you ever had sex?_

_I have, it felt great_

_It felt so good when I did it with my penis_

_A girl let me do it_

_It literally just happened_

_Having sex could make a nice man out' the meanest_

(He opens the door to Keith's room - to keith)

_You'll never guess where I just came from_

_I had sex_

_If I had to describe the feeling it was the best_

_When I had the sex_

_'Man, my penis felt great_

_And I called my parents right after I was done_

(Turns around, notices Haga.)

_Oh hey, didn't see you there_

_Guess what I just did_

_Had sex, undressed, saw her boobies and the rest_

Haga: _Was sure_

_Nice of her to let you do that thing_

Anzu: _Nice of any girl ever_

Jounouchi: Now sing!

_I just had sex_

_And it felt so good (felt so good)_

_A woman let me put my penis inside her (her)_

_I Wanna tell the world_

_To be honest_

_I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it_

_Doesn't really make sense_

_But man, screw it_

_I ain't one to argue with a good thing_

_She could be my wife_

Yuugi: _That good?_

Jounouchi: _The best 30 seconds of my life_

_I'm so humbled by a girls ability to let me do her_

_Cuz honestly I'd have sex with a pile of manure_

_With that in mind the soft, nice-smellin' girl's better_

_She let me wear my chain and my turtle neck sweater_

_So this one's dedicated to them girls_

_That let us flop around on top of them_

_If you're near or far, whether short or tall_

_We wanna thank you all for lettin' us fuck you_

Mai: _I kept looking at my watch_

Yuugi: _Doesn't Matter, Had Sex!_

Jounouchi: _But I cried the whole time!_

Yuugi: _Doesn't matter, had sex_

Jounouchi: _I think she might have been a racist_

Mai: _Doesn't matter, had sex_

Jounouchi: _She put a bag on my head_

Mai: _Still counts_

Jounouchi: I _just had sex_

_And my dreams came true (dreams came true)_

_So if you had sex in the last 30 minutes then you're qualified to sing with me_

Jounouchi, Mai, Haga, Ryuzaki:_ I just had sex _

_And it felt so good _

_A woman let me put my penis inside her!_

_I just had sex _

_And I'll never go back _

_To the not-having-sex_

_Ways of the past_

Yuugi: Cool story, Bro.

Mai: Come see me any time.

Jounouchi: (gulps) Oh, lawdy, lawdy! Massa, was dat good.

Yuugi: Now that you're done having fun, we're almost at Duelist Kingdom.

Jounouchi: Gee Massa, dis sho' is one "Love Boat".

Yuugi: No.

Honda: Jounouchi, Shut the fuck up.

Anzu: Even I can make better jokes than that.

Announcer: Attention, Duelists! Welcome to duelist kingdom. You will be greeted by Mr. Pegasus in a few moments. A bellboy will be here to collect your luggage, but for now, enjoy the beach!

(They exit the boat)

Yuugi: _The beach is a place where a man can feel_

_He's the only soul in the world that's real,_

(Shot of Ushio in his bellboy uniform)

_Well I see a face coming through the haze,_

_I remember him from those crazy days._

_Ain't you the guy who used to set the pace_

_Riding up in front of a hundred faces,_

_I don't suppose you would remember me,_

_But I used to follow you back in '63!_

Ushio:_ I've got a good job_

_And I'm newly born._

_You should see me dressed up in my uniform._

_I work in hotel, all gilt and flash._

_Remember the place where the doors were smashed?_

Yuugi: _Bell Boy! _

Ushio: _I got to keep running now._

Yuugi: _Bell Boy!_

Ushio: _ Keep my lip buttoned down._

Yuugi: _Bell Boy! _

Ushio:_ Carry this baggage out._

Yuugi_: Bell Boy! _

_Always running at someone's heel._

_You know how I feel, always running at someone's heel._

Ushio: _Some nights I still sleep on the beach._

_Remember when stars were in reach._

_Then I wander in early to work,_

_Spend the day licking boots for my perks._

Jounouchi: _A_ _beach is a place where a man can feel_

_He's the only soul in the world that's real,_

_Well I see a face coming through the haze,_

_I remember him from those crazy days._

Ushio: (to Yuugi) _People often change_

_But when I look in your eyes,_

_You could learn a lot from_

_A job like mine._

_The secret to me_

_Isn't flown like a flag_

_I carry it behind_

_This little badge_

_What says..._

Yuugi: _Bell Boy! _

Ushio: _I got to keep running now._

Yuugi: _Bell Boy!_

Ushio: _ Keep my lip buttoned down._

Yuugi: _Bell Boy! _

Ushio:_ Carry this baggage out._

Yuugi_: Bell Boy! _

_Always running at someone's heel._

_You know how I feel, always running at someone's heel._

(Ushio Leaves)

Yuugi: That guy cleaned up good.

Jounouchi: I thought Yami No Yuugi killed that guy?

Yuugi: guh, well obviously he got better!

Anzu: This island really is beautiful.

Yuugi: It sure is.

Announcer: And now. The moment you've all been waiting for! I would like to introduce you all to the one, the only, Pegasus J. Crawford!

Pegasus: Welcome! Welcome all of you to my beautiful island. This is the moment we have all been waiting for. Duelist Kingdom! Come one, come, all! I shall give you a tour of the island!

_Come with me_

_And you'll be_

_In a world of_

_Pure imagination_

_Take a look_

_And you'll see_

_Into your imagination_

_We'll begin_

_With a spin_

_Traveling in_

_The world of my creation_

_What we'll see_

_Will defy_

_Explanation_

_If you want to view paradise_

_Simply look around and view it_

_Anything you want to, do it_

_Wanta change the world?_

_There's nothing_

_To it_

_There is no_

_Life I know_

_To compare with_

_Pure imagination_

_Living there_

_You'll be free_

_If you truly wish to be_

_If you want to view paradise_

_Simply look around and view it_

_Anything you want to, do it_

_Wanta change the world?_

_There's nothing_

_To it_

_There is no_

_Life I know_

_To compare with_

_Pure imagination_

_Living there_

_You'll be free_

_If you truly_

_Wish to be_

(Fade to black. Title Card: MANWHILE IN DOMINO HOSPITAL)

(Kaiba lies in a hospital bed. his eyes snap open. )

Kaiba: _Dreaming, I was only dreaming_

_Of another place and time_

_Where my family's from_

_Singing, I can hear them singing_

_When the rain had washed away_

_All these scattered dreams_

_Dying, everyone's reminded_

_Hearts are washed in misery_

_Drenched in gasoline_

_Laughter, there's no more laughter_

_Songs of yesterday now live in the underground_

_Life before the lobotomy_

_Kaiba sang the eulogy!_

_Sign of my love a lost memory_

_From the end of the Century_

_Well it's enough to make you sick_

_To cast a stone and throw a brick_

_When the sky is falling down_

_It burned your dreams into the ground_

Mokuba: _Seto's lesson_

_Is what he's been sold_

_I Am normal and self-controlled_

Kaiba: _Remember to learn to forget_

(He takes a swig from a flask of whiskey)

_Whiskey shots and cheap cigarettes_

_Well I'm not stoned, I'm just fucked up_

_I got so high, I can't stand up_

_I'm not cursed cause I've been blessed_

_I'm not in love cause I'm a mess_

_Like refugees_

_We're lost like refugees_

_Like refugees_

_We're lost like refugees_

_The brutality of reality_

_Is the freedom that keeps me from_

_Dreaming, I was only dreaming_

_Of another place and time_

_Where my family's from_

_Singing, I can hear them singing_

_When the rain had washed away all these scattered dreams_

_Dying, everyone's reminded_

_Hearts are washed in misery_

_Drenched in gasoline_

_Laughter, there's no more laughter_

_Songs of yesterday_

_Now live in the underground_

Mokuba: Brother!

Kaiba: Mokuba. Where am I?

Mokuba: The hospital. You've been in a coma for four days.

Kaiba: Mokuba, Where is Yuugi?

Mokuba: He and his friends went to Duelist kingdom to get back yuugi's kidnapped grampa!

Kaiba: Yuugi. That Guy! I _**WILL**_ kill him!

(Kaiba struggles to stand, but collapses)

Mokuba: That yuugi guy messed up your spine pretty bad, Seto. The doctor says you'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life!

Kaiba: Oh. Great.

(A nurse comes in with a wheelchair)

Nurse: I overheard your conversation. Here's a wheelchair, so that you can get around.

Kaiba: Thanks.

Nurse: Don't mention it.

Kaiba: K, bye. (the nurse leaves.) I'm going to duelist kingdom to get yuugi.

Mokuba: Can I come too big brother?

Kaiba: No. It's far to dangerous for a youngster like yourself.

Mokuba: can I at least have some cash to get pizza, while you're gone?

Kaiba: No.

Mokuba: _You never give me your money_

_You only give me your funny paper_

_and in the middle of negotiations_

_you break down_

Kaiba: _I never give you my number_

_I only give you my situation_

_and in the middle of investigation_

_I break down_

_Out of college, money spent_

_See no future, pay no rent_

_All the money's gone, nowhere to go_

_Any jobber got the sack_

_Monday morning, turning back_

_Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go_

_But oh, that magic feeling, nowhere to go_

_Oh, that magic feeling_

_Nowhere to go_

(Outside the hospital Kaiba packs up his Limo for the trip to the airport)

_One sweet dream_

_Pick up the bags and get in the limosine_

_Soon we'll be away from here_

_Step on the gas and wipe that tear away_

_One sweet dream came true today_

_Came true today_

_Came true today (yes it did)_

(as the limo drives out of sight the song slowly fades out)

Kaiba: (To Mokuba) _One two three four five six seven,_

_All good children go to Heaven_

_One two three four five six seven,_

_All good children go to Heaven_

(Shot of a plane taking off)

(Back in duelist Kingdom)

Yuugi: Wow, can you believe that we already beat most of the contestants and have ten star chips each?

Jounouchi: This is definitely not a ploy by the author to cut some time out of the second act!

Yuugi: No sirree!

Honda: What up you guys?

Yuugi: Not much.

Anzu: Honda and I were talking and-

(LOUD NOISES)

Jounouchi: Massa! Massa, What's dat?

Anzu: and yet not a moment ago he was speaking fine.

Yuugi: What is that noise?

Kaiba's Voice: HAHAHAHA Yuugi!

Yuugi: that voice...it sounds so familiar...

Kaiba's Voice: Do you know Who this is?

Yuugi: uh...no.

(Kaiba is wheeled in in a wheelchair by hobson)

Yuugi: Kaiba! You're out of your coma! Good to see you buddy!

Kaiba: Shut up you sick son of a bitch! You raped me, an then you paralyzed me! My spinal chord is cut into three pieces. I'll never walk again!

Yuugi:psh, whatever.

Kaiba: You could not understand the...amount of sheer. HATE. I have for you.

Yuugi: I wouldn't fuck with me if I were you.

Kaiba: and why not?

(Yuugi Morphs into YY)

YY: Here's why, Bitch! (He throws a dagger at Kaiba, stabbing him in the crotch)

Kaiba: hahaha, I can't feel anything below the waist!

YY: Try this one, then! (He pulls out a deck of YGO cards) See this?

Kaiba: OMYGOD that's a blue eyes!

YY: how would you feel if-(he rips the card in half)

Kaiba:

YY: hahahaha. Kaiba. You are weak as a child, and yet you still attack. I like your style. because of that, I'm going to do this.

(Kaiba stands up)

Kaiba: I'm able to walk again! Holy shit! this is a miracle! O my god, thank you! But now... Oh shit what's tha- O god it hurts!

YY: yeah, I'm still angry with you a little so I left the knife in there.

Kaiba: Oh jesus, you're sick!

YY: I know.

Kaiba: look, let's just call this one a draw, okay?

(YY nods in agreement. Kaiba pulls the knife out, and begins to exit)

Kaiba: (to himself) I can walk again, incredible!

(kaiba is now completely gone)

Jounouchi: Oh Massa, Massa! We sho' got him good! Where should we go now?

YY: you see that? (he points to pegasus' castle in the distance) I reckon we should head there.

_In the velvet darkness of the blackest night_

_Burning bright, there's a guiding star_

_No matter what or who you are._

Yuugi and Anzu:_ There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place_

_There's a light burning in the fireplace_

_There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life._

Anzu: _I can see the flag fly, I can see the rain_

_Just the same, there has got to be_

_Something better here for you and me._

Yuugi, anzu, and Honda: _There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place_

_There's a light burning in the fireplace_

_There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life._

(Pegasus' shadow moves into view of the castle's window)

Pegasus: _The darkness must go down the river of nights dreaming_

_Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming_

_Into my life, into my life._

Yuugi, Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi: _There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place_

_There's a light burning in the fireplace_

_There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life._

(The doors to pegasus' castle swing open. YY, Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi enter)

YY: Hello.

Pegasus: Ah, but this is not the yuugi boy I dueled last time! Welcome to chataeu Pegasus.

YY: Who else made it this far?

Keith: Greetings fellow.

YY: Oh great.

Keith: Sarge we got charlie coming over the hill, what should I do? SARGE? (Keith collapses)

Pegasus: I let him here because I felt bad for him.

YY: That poor man.

Mai: I'm here too, hot stuff.

YY: Your charms won't work on me, mai, as you see, I'm quite gay.

Jounouchi: It works on me Mai!

Mai: You, I could beat blindfolded.

Honda: I made it too you guys!

Anzu: Oh shut it, already!

Honda: You guys... Why do you always-

Pegasus: Let the finals Begin!

Ushio: I'm playing too you guys!

Narrator: and so they dueled. but they were just too good. every duel ended in a tie. except for when Mai dueled anzu. Anzu won because mai was a total pussy. anyway, the duelists decided they needed one man to go up against pegasus. and only one. and since every duel ended in a tie, it was time for a vote.

Honda: _We need a man that is simple perfection_

_There's nothing that's harder to find_

_Someone to lead us protect us and feed us_

_And help us to make up our minds_

Anzu: _We need a man that's sophisticated_

_Quiet and strong and well educated_

Keith: (to YY)_Where to go what to do_

_Could it be somebody super like you?_

Honda: _We need a man that can stand as a symbol_

_And symbols have got to be tall_

Anzu: _Someone with taste and the tiniest waist_

_With his help would not life be a ball_

Jounouchi: _If we had fun he would not restrain us_

_If we got caught he would just explain us_

_Where to go what to do_

_Could it be somebody super like you?_

All(except YY): _We pledge allegiance to his gracefulness_

_And charming manners_

_With a voice that's both sides choice_

_He'll bring us to our knees in admiration_

_He is king of all who see and hear_

_His perfect pitch and more surprises_

_When his time is come a stallion rises_

Anzu: _We need a man with a head on his shoulders_

Honda: _A nose that is simply divine_

Anzu: _Hollywood smile and a perfect profile_

_And with eyes that would sparkle and shine_

Keith: _Long flowing hair for a crowning glory_

_There'd be a man who could tell our story_

_Where to go what to do_

_Could it be somebody super like you?_

All(except YY): _We pledge allegiance to his gracefulness_

_And charming manners_

_With a voice that's both sides choice_

_He'll bring us to our knees in admiration_

_He is king of all who see and hear_

_His perfect pitch and more surprises_

_When his time is come a stallion rises_

_Rises...rises...rises_

(YY is brought face to face with pegasus)

YY: Where is my grampa?

Pegasus: Right here (He points to grampa who has been sitting quietly in an armchair)

Gramps: hi!

Pegasus: And now we duel!

YY: Just wait a sec, Pegasus. Why do you want to duel me? Who are you?

Pegasus: I want that puzzle you wear around your neck! I have made it my goal to collect the millennium items in order to ressurect my dead wife!

YY: Psh, like _**YOU'RE**_ straight.

Pegasus: Anyway, many years ago I was in egypt. There, I met a man named Shadi, who told me-

YY: Look, we gonna duel or what?

Pegasus: You little-

YY: Dude, you're starting to piss me off.

Pegasus: Enough of this! Let's Duel!

YY: Now we're talkin'!

_Zoo time is she and you time_

_The mammals are your favourite type, and you want her tonight_

_Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat_

_You hear the thunder of stampeding rhinos, elephants and tacky tigers_

_This town ain't big enough for both of us_

_And it ain't me who's gonna leave_

Pegasus: _Flying domestic flying_

_And when the stewardess is near do not show any fear_

_Heartbeat increasing heartbeat_

_You are a khaki-coloured bombadier it's Hiroshima that you're nearing_

_This town ain't big enough for both of us_

_And it ain't me who's gonna leave_

YY: _Daily, except for Sunday_

_You dawdle in to the cafe where you meet her each day_

_Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat_

_As twenty cannibals have hold of you, they need their protein just like you do_

_This town ain't big enough for both of us_

_And it ain't me who's gonna leave_

_Shower, another shower_

_You've got to look your best for her and be clean everywhere_

_Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat_

_The rain is pouring on the foreign town, the bullets cannot cut you down_

_This town ain't big enough for both of us_

Both: _And it ain't me who's gonna leave_

Pegasus:_ Census, the latest census_

_There'll be more girls who live in town though not enough to go round_

_Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat_

_You know that:_

_This town isn't big enough,_

YY: _not big enough for both of us_

Pegasus:_ This town isn't big enough,_

Both:_ not big enough for both of us_

YY: _And I ain't gonna leave!_

Announcer: This just in! Yuugi Mutou has dueled Pegasus TO DEATH! This is unprecadented. Yuugi Mutou, You are indeed the king of card games!

(A dejected Kaiba looks on. he stands up)

Kaiba: _I used to rule the world_

_Seas would rise when I gave the word_

_Now in the morning I sleep alone_

_Sweep the streets I used to own_

_I used to roll the dice_

_Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes_

_Listen as the crowd would sing_

Crowd: (referring to Yuugi) _Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!_

Kaiba: _One minute I held the key_

_Next the walls were closed on me_

_And I discovered that my castles stand_

_Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand_

_I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing_

_Roman Cavalry choirs are singing_

_Be my mirror, my sword and shield_

_My missionaries in a foreign field_

_For some reason I can't explain_

_Once you go there was never_

_Never an honest word_

_And that was when I ruled the world_

_It was the wicked and wild wind_

_Blew down the doors to let me in_

_Shattered windows and the sound of drums_

_People couldn't believe what I'd become_

_Revolutionaries wait_

_For my head on a silver plate_

_Just a puppet on a lonely string_

_Oh who would ever want to be king?_

_I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing_

_Roman Cavalry choirs are singing_

_Be my mirror, my sword and shield_

_My missionaries in a foreign field_

_For some reason I can't explain_

_I know Saint Peter won't call my name_

_Never an honest word_

_But that was when I ruled the world_

_I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing_

_Roman Cavalry choirs are singing_

_Be my mirror, my sword and shield_

_My missionaries in a foreign field_

_For some reason I can't explain_

_I know Saint Peter won't call my name_

_Never an honest word_

_But that was when I ruled the world _

(A tear rolls down his cheek)

(as kaiba turns he sees someone he doesn't recognize)

Voice: Hello, My name is Bakura, Ryou Bakura, Nice to meet you.

Kaiba: (Sung) _**I WILL RETURN!**_

(The music swells and -

THE END.)

_To be continued in "Yu-gi-oh: The memory world sing-along!"_


End file.
